Getting back at the TSA

Many in the security community are continually annoyed with the TSA and air safety, mumbling security theater this and idiots that. Following the undies bomber incident, these mumbling turned into rumblings, and then into a "let's get back at the TSA" joking spree, which I was more than happy to jump ahead of.


via AppleGeeks Lite 561.

And indeed, folks on the funsec mailing list had some fun with it.
phester wrote:

I've considered carrying a bag of dildoes when I fly. I imagine a conversation something like this;

TSA: What's this?!?

Me: A bunch of dildoes.

TSA: Why are you carrying a bunch of dildoes?

Me: It makes me feel safe.

TSA: How does a bunch of dildoes make you feel safe?

Me: I've been asking the same thing since they created the TSA.

This was indeed fun, and we had a good laugh. Erik Harrison replied with the often quoted TSA joke:

TSA: "Nine times out of ten, it's an electric razor but, every once and a while, it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article. A dildo, never your dildo."

After a bit more fun, I responded seriously:

If it was me, I would say it was my dildo every time. It would be interesting to see their faces, but more importantly, if it's not mine, it might be a terrorist who put it in my bag. Bad idea: an exploded bag, a cavity search and 3 hours to 3 days later...

But more than the TSA not having a sense of humour, this is really about respect, and about understanding that they can take no chances with you not being serious:

It's great to joke about, but not to practice as a joke. As I said earlier, bad idea.

Don't mess with:
1. People trying to do their jobs.
2. People who are on alert for criminals and terrorists.
3. People who have the power to arrest you.
4. People who have guns to do their job.
and:
5. People who are forced to check you completely with the mere mention of a joke, as it might not be a joke.

All-in-all, we had a good time playing with this, but we should all keep in mind that regardless of what we may think of the TSA and others around the world, some jokes are just not worth the price of a cavity search -- or at the very least 10 more minutes in line.

Gadi Evron,
ge@linuxbox.org.

Follow me on twitter! http://twitter.com/gadievron